Random Thoughts and Adventures

It took an off day but finally I am blogging again!

2009-08-05T16:27:00.004-04:00

So it has been a few months since I have blogged and let me tell you that today was just one of those days. Have you ever had those? Where it just starts off wrong like you slip in the shower and its then when I know it is all downhill from there! As most of you know I am not at all a morning person and for some reason I don't think I ever will be. So most of my mornings are done in a very cranky mood and half asleep. And then the drive to work, its like every car is out to make my day more annoying! I mean is it truly neccessary to drive under the speed limit?? I think not! Then I get to work and get a whole 5 seconds of peace and the load is dumped on me of stuff to do. And really its just a snowball effect, I go out to each lunch and get stuck in traffic for 40 minutes!

And then I can't even hold a conversation without getting somewhat pissy.

So here is my question, why is it that if one thing goes wrong in the morning it seems everything else just falls apart?

Really I think it is just all in my head...... maybe if I had a more positive attitude instead of "why me?" and "f my life!"

Once again I know my life isn't that bad and we all have off days.... it would be great if life were just easy. I read a good quote today and it is very true it says
"Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck it up and be nice."

I know its easier said than done to just suck it up and get over it. I mean in the end if I just try to be positive than my day may get better.

The Joys & Woes of Surgery!

2009-04-11T17:56:00.003-04:00

So here just 1 week after surgery.... for the most part it went well. I had a rough time after surgery after the hospital with the moriphine and then let me just tell you the day after I had never felt worse pain in my life!!! I had a great spiritual experience that really helped me overcome this.

Laying in bed for 1 week can get really, really old!! I have watched approximately 1440 minutes of One Tree Hill! Yup that is 24 Hours!! Thank goodness for Seasons on DVD! So all in all I had tons of time to lay around and do nothing which is very rare in my life!! I took a week off work and really didn't have too much contact.

I love my friends and I miss them!! I am thankful for the caring people that visited me and brought me food and cute gifts! Its the little things in life that make me happy! As much as surgery sucks and being on crutches sucks, I think I'm in pretty good spirits.

My family has been so great at taking care of me, it hasn't been easy for them I'm sure but I truly appreciate it and I am so glad we are close.

There has been a lot of time for me to think while I've been away and again its made me realize that the stupid drama in life is not even worth it. Everything blows over, what we think is the biggest problem today, probably won't be the biggest problem tomorrow. It is pretty much impossible for everyone to get along with everyone, there are way too many personalities and insecurities. And I hear people complaining about cliques, but really lets be honest, everyone has a clique. You are always going to have a few closer friends that you are always with. I don't think it is at all snobby or mean, I just think that, that is how life is. I admit, I have a clique, but I do not hate anyone else or think that I can't be their friend. I love my group of friends, they are truly my support and some days I do not know where I would be without them. And I think that everyone feels the same way about their clique. I sometimes wish we could all be one big clique but that really is not possible at all, because everyone can't get along with everyone.

For some reason this has been on my mind quite a bit this week, probably because when you're not really around it and you hear about it all you realize the divisions in friends. There is always going to be people that say or do things to you that are really horrible, but they're people too and everyone makes mistakes. I'm not saying lets go be best friends with them, I'm not even saying talk to them but just don't stress over it.

As Bob Marley says "Love the life you love, Love the life you live!"

Be happy with who you are no matter what!! My motto is "You Only Live Once!!" So live it up and try your best to be as happy as possible!

Another good quote by Bob Marley

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I am not perfect - I don't live to be, but before you start pointing your fingers...make sure your hands are clean."

A saying I heard this week and hadn't heard in forever "He who hath no sin casts the first stone"

There is no one on this earth that is perfect so don't stress over the little things or other people live life for you!

The best birthday!!!

2009-03-30T10:47:00.011-04:00

So this past weekend was my 23rd Birthday and boy was it a great one!! I love my friends for really making it special for me!! I have a great support system finally and love it!! Thursday night was dinner with just a few of us and then Saturday was the big party where we danced like fools and had a blast!!! I am truly happy with where my life is going! Thanks to everyone for making it special!

Words for Thought :)

2009-03-24T14:46:00.004-04:00

So last night we were coming up with words to describe one another. Well me, I think I am an odd person for the most part. Some of the words that came up were quirky, which then led to other words like freakish, kinky (ha, uh no!), peculiar and idiosyncratic. I don't know about any of those words really.

We stuck with idiosyncratic and the definition is: peculiar temper or disposition; belonging to one's peculiar and individual character.

And well I've always thought I was peculiar but in a good way :) I like being different than people and just not caring, I want to always be myself in front of others but we all know that can be hard. However, in the comfort of my own home and around others like myself it tends to be pretty easy. I was also told it is going to take a special guy for me to be able to handle my personality, which tends to be a little odd at times and I am a fairly independent person.

Its weird when you think about words to describe yourself and then hear what others think. Now through the grapevine I've heard that people call me "unapproachable". What??!! That is crazy to me! I've always thought that I am very easy to talk to and I love getting to know new people. I try my best to get along with everyone, but lets face it, this world is not perfect and neither are people.

Unapproachable:

1.	not capable of being approached; remote; unreachable: an unapproachable spot; an unapproachable person.

2.	impossible to equal or rival: unapproachable mastery of her art.

So I would then say that people thinking I am "unapproachable" leads to me being "misunderstood".

Misunderstood:
1. improperly understood or interpreted
2. To take in a wrong sense
3. To fail to understand or interpret rightly the words or behavior of

So I've come to terms that I am "misunderstood" in some ways. I have a lot of history in my life that a lot of people don't know about. I don't open up to too many people because of trust issues. But I still want to get to know everybody, I think that there is some part of me that can get along with everyone at some point. We may not ever be real friends and hang out, but I try my hardest not to judge or pretend to know about someone.

I see that we are all guilty at some point of pre-judging before we know anything about anyone. But lets look at what it can do to people when they hear that people think things about them that may not be true. If you don't know then don't judge or talk bad about them. Did you ever think that if someone to you is "unapproachable" then maybe its you not wanting to branch out and get to know them?? Everyone is a good person, but some people just show it differently.

And lastly, we will always have friends who have other friends or significant others that we are not close with. But if we truly care for our friend, we will not judge, but support, there is a good word support

Support:

1.	to bear or hold up (a load, mass, structure, part, etc.); serve as a foundation for.

2.	to sustain or withstand (weight, pressure, strain, etc.) without giving way; serve as a prop for.

3.	to undergo or endure, esp. with patience or submission; tolerate.

4.	to sustain (a person, the mind, spirits, courage, etc.) under trial or affliction: They supported him throughout his ordeal.

5.	to maintain (a person, family, establishment, institution, etc.) by supplying with things necessary to existence; provide for: to support a family

To me if I am a true friend, I always support, defend and care for my friends. Everyone can make their own decisions in life and we cannot control our friends, but if they're happy then we are. If they are down we need to be there to bring them up. Now I am not perfect and sometimes fail at these things. But I see others that get upset or bothered when others become friends or more, but to me that is a sign of low self-esteem which we all have some of. We cannot bring others down for no reason.

Does it really make you feel better when you tell someone you disapprove of their friend or friends? There is really no need to even be discussing others relationships, why? Oh, maybe because it is none of your business!! If you have nothing to do with it, then stay out of it. Since there is no one perfect on the earth then we should not judge or worry about other people's relationships. Doing this with what you say is a "real friend" can really push people away.

That is all for today I think!

Some great quotes from one of the greatest men!

2009-03-13T23:19:00.007-04:00

I love reading quotes from Gordon B. Hinckley and thought that I would share some of my favorite!

He was such a great prophet and leader!

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.”

“The Lord would want you to be successful. He would. You are His sons and His daughters. He has the same kind of love and ambition for you that your earthly parents have. They want you to do well and you can do it.”

“Our lives are the only meaningful expression of what we believe and in Whom we believe. And the only real wealth, for any of us, lies in our faith.”

“I am totally in the hands of the Lord.”

“Believe in Jesus Christ, our Savior and our Redeemer, the Son of God, who came to earth and walked the dusty roads of Palestine-the Son of God-to teach us the way of truth and light and salvation, and who, in one great and glorious act offered an atonement for each of us. He opened the way of salvation and exaltation for each of us, under which we may go forward in the Church and kingdom of God. Be not faithless, but believe in the great and wonderful and marvelous blessings of the Atonement.”

“This is my prayer for all of us—'Lord, increase our faith.' Increase our faith to bridge the chasms of uncertainty and doubt. . . . Grant us faith to look beyond the problems of the moment to the miracles of the future. . . . Give us faith to do what is right and let the consequence follow.”

"Whatever our calling, regardless of our fears or anxieties, let us pray and then go and do."

Washington D.C. with the girls!

2009-03-05T13:13:00.009-05:00

So I went away last weekend with just the girls, it was nice! The only boy contact we had was flirting with the cops haha! Or the man in the wheelchair that sang to us, but other than that this was a no boy weekend! I had a blast seeing all the sites again, that I only saw when I was 10 so I didn't remember much!!

"Why do we want what we can't have?"

2009-03-03T10:31:00.008-05:00

Question of the day, this blog was a request by a friend for some reason she feels I give good advice. So lets see what I have to say about this question.

I think all in all it is just being a human. It starts from when we are children, when you're a toddler you don't want to play with a certain toy until another child has it.

Its that little bit of jealousy that lies in all of us! Everyone can say that they're not one to be jealous but we all are in our own way. Its not necessarily that the child wants the toy, but he definitely doesn't want anyone else to have it.

Then we get older and still we cannot be satisfied with life. We all go through times where we have a crush on somebody that already has somebody and we think to ourselves "oh if only he/she were with me".... but really are we sure we aren't just jealous? They aren't necessarily for us, but in the end we are jealous of what someone else has that we don't.

But then when we get what we "think" we wanted are we happy? Not all the time, no we aren't! Why because a lot of times I think people tend to "settle" for whatever they can get or think they want, but really it is not what is right for them. We cannot settle for anything, everyone deserves someone great as a companion, but we can't just assume that every person that comes into our lives is "the one". Thats not the way life always works. The majority of people go through relationships that just don't work out, but we need to be able to stand on our own two feet before we completely settle down. You cannot just be with someone well because everyone else has someone. We cannot be jealous of others relationships, we need to be happy, if they're happy that is great for them.

Anyway, i think it goes deeper than that. For the most part, (not everyone) we as people were not meant to be alone. So when we are observed singlely, the observer does not get to see us at our highest. When we are in a relationship the observer gets to see the most complete person we can be. Therfore, we are more attractive to them.
I.e. i want a man that does ______. I like ________ because i see that he does ________ for his woman, and i want him to do that for me.

"As a rule, man's a fool. When it's hot he wants it cool.
When it's cool he wants it hot, always wanting what is not."

Below is a great way to think about things and ask yourself:

"You have the ability to get what you want. You probably have everything you need to be completely satisfied. Do you also have the ability to want what you've got? Do you have peace of mind?"

That is a strong thing to think about. We need to be happy with what we have, we are alive right? We all have a roof over our heads and food on the table right? Of course we all want to be blissfully happy, but going to religious terms, we were sent here to endure trials, without them we wouldn't be successful in life. Everybody has problems in their lives, but there is nothing that is put in front of us that we cannot overcome. Sometimes that is very hard to believe, but I believe it is true.

And one of the things we have to overcome is waiting on that "special someone". Sure we think we know who is right for us, but we are not always right about it. So be patient, as Bob Marley says "Live the life you love, love the life you live" So learn how to be content with what you've got for the moment because when we look back on these things we think are big deals they will be nothing really. Embrace the gifts God gave us which first and foremost is life!

22 Feeling 90!

2009-02-17T10:55:00.002-05:00

So here I am 22 years old and I feel that with all the health issues I've had I should be like 90 years old. It is a running joke that when I meet a guy that I like I shouldn't declare my medical history or that will ruin it!

Well its kind of true, it all began in kindergarten I had pneumonia 5 times, I've always had a very crappy immune system from that point on. If someone has a little cold I get bronchitis or worse! I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 12 and now will take a pill for the rest of my life that without I feel like crap.

I was in a car accident at 18 that damaged my back probably in some places for the rest of my life and I was put to sleep and had needles stabbed into my back approximately 6 different times after the accident.

Then I turn 20 and begin to have stomach problems and well before I was 21 I had my gall bladder removed! (not common at that age) of course, because if my body were to do anything normal I wouldn't be me!

And now... here I am 22 and having serious sleep problems and now am going for a sleep study to figure out why I don't sleep properly...

oh wait there is more.... I am 22 and have a pretty bad foot problem that causes me extreme pain that normally happens to older people so I'll be seeing a specialist tomorrow for that and possibly will be having surgery again!

Its like the never ending list of problems, just when my health seems okay something happens! Will it ever end? And the bills become outrageous, but I realize its better to take care of things now rather than later when they're worse!

Anyways... I hope none of my future love interests read this, because well that would go out the window!

Why do we care?

2009-01-31T23:41:00.004-05:00

Please note this is not directed at anyone specific

Why do we care what others think? When it comes down to it, we all say we do not care what others think but lets face it! There is a part in everyone that cares somewhat what people think. I don't think lives should be lived this way and I wish there was a way to change that. I feel like a lot of us live our lives trying to be what others want us to be or trying to be the girl a certain guy wants you to be or a guy a girl wants us to be. Be honest, unless someone is going to like you for you they're not worth it right? Well here we go again as humans thinking that there are ways to change others, but unfortunately there are not.

You know that saying.... "There is someone out there for everyone" Well for the most part I believe that, but then again when I think I'm where i'm supposed to be but then realize i'm not getting anywhere in progressing with some things it just doesn't make sense, but such is life, nothing makes sense! And right now for some reason there are a lot of things not making sense.

Like for example.... Girls, what are we all so catty?! Another saying... "Can't we all just get along?" I have realized is almost impossible for girls. and just like caring what others think, there is a little bit or a lot of cattiness in some cases in every girl. It doesn't matter what age we are there will always be comparing of other females. And wondering why a guy chose this girl or why this girl did that to you. Again, these things we will never figure out. So maybe we should (or at least I should) try and be the bigger person and say you know what? Oh well if I kissed this guy and now she is, should we care? If it was meant to be it would have been right? Or if he's moved on like that obviously he's not what I'm looking for. (not really a situation I'm currently in, but just an example). Such is life, you will always have an ex and that ex will always have someone new. It sucks and it hurts, but you have to move on and not hold on to certain things, because when the right one does come along those things can ruin a good thing! We cannot hate others because of things that have happened/or not happened to us.

I realize that in a lot of my relationships I become "the good friend" with most guys..... now I know that can be a good thing and sometimes a compliment that I am easy going, easy to get along with but you know? being "the friend" can get REALLY old. But do you see me complaining all the time? Ya sometimes I do, but I really try not to it is one of those things.... there is no point.

Well once again... just random babble I don't know why it is so easy to type my thoughts out but when people ask me to talk about them I cannot. Oh well blogging definitely helps!

Once again, this blog is not directed at anyone specifically

Random babble for today, slightly confused and stressed I guess.

2009-01-19T19:12:00.003-05:00

Boys, boys, boys!! Will we ever completely understand them and what goes through their minds? Probably not! Just when you think you've got one figured out, they throw a curve ball at you! It seems like guys get scared everything a girl gets close to them like we are just going to want to jump on them and be their one and only and get serious!! Well I am not in anyway like that, just because you're getting to know a guy doesn't mean anything serious in my book. How do you make someone realize that you are really telling the truth when you say you are not ready/nor looking for something serious?

"Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years"

I have the greatest friends in the world! And well if it were just us for the rest of our lives I may be happy!! But not really, every girl wants to one day be married and have a family, but it doesn't mean I neccesarily want it anytime soon. I want to be young, single and have fun. Of course I want to date guys and have a good time and well if the right one happens to come along I guess I'll go with it, but for now I'm all about just living.

Just like the random road trip me and 2 of my best friends took a couple weeks ago, I love that we are all spontaneous and just like to have a good time. Did it make any real sense to go on this road trip? Nope, not really!! But it was a blast and totally worth it!! One second we're just sitting at home the next thing you know we're all packed into the car driving across the country, why? Because we can!!! I have nothing holding me back right now so I need to live it up, because there will come a day that I will have a family and won't be able to just drop everything and do crazy things like that.

I go back and forth on things, its like one day I think oh it would be so nice to have a boyfriend, but then sometimes I see the drama that goes on with others and am like H no! I like to try and live a stress free life, but we all know that is not possible at all. (I really wish it was) If anyone knows of a way not to stress about the little things in life can you please let me know? I really want to be a happy person at all times but that is another thing in life that isn't always possible.

And sometimes, really I just want to be close to someone and cuddle and feel totally comfortable. I want someone who can hang out with me and all of my friends and put up with our stupid craziness!! Because we all know that I refuse to give up my friends for any relationship.

I want my close friends to be happy in their lives and I hate seeing them getting hurt when it comes to relationships and other things in their lives. I've learned to give my opinions and advice but let them make their own decisions. No matter what they'll be my friends. I really hope to receive the same thing from them and I am pretty sure that they will do that for me also. Even when whatever is going on in my life

might sound like the stupidest things, well they don't judge and of course I will not judge them.

The busy, crazy life I lead!

2008-12-15T12:08:00.001-05:00

Wow! What a weekend! I feel like the energizer bunny that never stops! But I do love it! My philosophy is you only live once so why pass up the opportunity to have fun! I feel like from sun up to sun down I always have something to do. I actually had 4 hours to myself on Friday afternoon and it was nice but at the same time all the craziness I would really miss if it was quiet all the time. From going out with friends, working, parties and get togethers at our place this weekend it really all just blurs together and its like BAM its Monday again! And then the week starts and I begin to lose sleep because I am a night owl and like to stay up late hanging out when I have to be at work at 7am! But again, oh well! Who needs sleep? Obviously not me!

And then there is our apartment! Which I have now began to call Grand Central Station. There is rarely a dull moment in our house. You never know who is going to come through the door, but I enjoy having people over (even if its the middle of the night ;) and am glad people are comfortable coming over. Who ever knew you could fit that many people into our little apartment. And you never know what is going to happen from wrestling matches, pillow fights to games! It is pretty much always a blast! I think a lot of people think we are crazy! My room-mate has begun to call it the crazy house! Which I have to agree, we are nuts! There is so much going on always. And you know what? I really don't want it to end, because I love having so many great friends. Where even if we're sitting around doing nothing it is a blast!

But...... then comes the next week when my room-mate and a few of my closest friends leave for a week :( to go see their families. I really hope I do not go crazy without all the people it is going to be very weird!

"Because I Have Been Given Much"

2008-12-05T10:30:00.001-05:00

Because I have been given much, I too must give. Because of thy great bounty, Lord each day I live. I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see, who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care… I cannot see another’s lack and I not share-my glowing fire, my loaf of bread-my roof’s safe shelter over head, that he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord, I’ll share thy love again according to thy word. I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed, thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

So yesterday was a whirlwind of a day for me and others also. We received a call that someone needed help that we did not know through our missionaries. And of course knowing me I have a problem saying no. I look at everything as a learning experience and think that everything happens for a reason in our lives. I feel that me and my friend are probably two of the most compassionate, giving, and open people. We want to help in any way we can when it comes to anything. Which you know sometimes you have to draw the line somewhere. This situation may have been a little more sticky than we had anticipated. All I could think about while being taught by the missionaries that night was the song "Because I have been given much". The lyrics just kept playing through my head. I mean really, who am I to deny someone shelter or food? When my entire life I have had the luxury of never going hungry or being homeless. Service is one of the greatest gifts we have and it is what we are asked to do all the time. And yes, I do believe service is a gift and that we are blessed.

In this particular situation it may not be best for it to continue with us, but we are going to help this person as much as possible. We want to keep ourselves safe and comfortable.

I also received probably one of the best blessings I have ever had in my life which had so much counsel and good words in it. It was almost to much to take in. I am so amazed that I can just say "give me a blessing" and he knew exactly what to say. This is not the first blessing I have received from this person and I don't think he knows what an impact his example and blessings have made on me.

All in all yesterday was crazy but a great learning and uplifting experience. I hope that I can continue to do good and give service to those in need for the rest of my life. If I have it, why not share?

One Year Later

2008-12-04T08:54:00.000-05:00

Well it has officially been 1 year that I have lived in North Carolina! It is crazy to think how time has flown by! It seems like just yesterday me and Lacey were driving across the country with my car full of stuff. Again, I still think this was the best decision for me. I have grown so much in the past year. I have made a lot of great changes in my life.

This year has been full of excitement, new friends, and great adventures!!!

I have been on some of the best road trips ever!!!!

I have enjoyed the great east coast!! From Skiing, to river rafting, mountain trips, to beach trips and theme parks!!

I hope to continue my adventures here in North Carolina! I have made such great friends and hope to make more and many more memories!

Some great quotes that I think can pertain to anyone!

2008-12-03T11:53:00.000-05:00

"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk."

"When you lose, don't lose the lesson."

"Remember the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for Others, and Responsibility for all your Actions."

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."

"Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship."

"Open your arms to change, but don't give up your values."

"Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer."

"In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past."

"Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other."

"Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it."

"I think that no matter what you do in life, it requires being honest with oneself, and you have to pull yourself out of the whirlwind of daily life."

2008-11-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

Wow! What a week it has been!! I have so many great things in my life at this point. I have been in North Carolina for almost a year now! It is crazy, time has flown! I really never thought that I would be at the point where I am now. I am so much better as a person than I was 1 year ago.

“Life is full of ups and downs. The trick is to enjoy the ups and have courage during the downs.”

This week I had some up and down moments. I feel like sometimes I'm fighting an uphill struggle with myself. It seems like just when I think I'm over things that have happened in the past something makes me realize that I am not. I've enjoyed such great times in the past year that I just have them cover up some of the down issues I am still dealing with. But there are lots of things I am doing now to try and help me overcome these things. I am trying very hard not to keep them in.

I have the greatest friend right now and I always thought that bringing up my problems might make me look dumb or weak, but now I realize she is not there to judge and right now I know she is there for me no matter what even if its just for a shoulder to cry on for the night. Honestly, I do not know where I would be without her right now! She has done so much for me. She has been a part of the many UPS in the past year and has been there to help me through the DOWNS! For that I owe her a lot!

I crack myself up because I always tell her "live a little", but then I look at myself and I'm not really, fully doing that. I am going to try hopefully with a little help to start to talk about my past issues and hopefully move on. I need to focus on me and me being happy right now. I cannot change my past but I can become a better person because of things I have been through. I think that I can also help those who have been through similar things. For awhile there I thought I was the only one, but that is not true at all. There is so much I want to do in life and I cannot keep holding myself back.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

"We all live with the objective of being happy, our lives are all different and yet the same."

"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge"

2008-11-10T08:31:00.000-05:00

Change, why do we fear it? We should embrace change! I tend to get to comfortable with everything in life and am very afraid for things to change. I like routine and sticking to the same thing week after week. I need to find the good in every change in my life.
I need to be better about just going with the flow and living a little more. If something changes, figure out how to make the best of it.
"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
Of course I become insecure about things when they change because I do not know what to expect but I need to know that everything will work out in life the way it is supposed to. But today I'm going to try and just take things one step at a time.

“Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though it’s different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it is still in some way cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same.”

That is my quick thought for today!

"If Everybody was blind, no one would know who to hate."

2008-09-30T10:34:00.001-04:00

I had the opportunity of hosting a blind conference at the hotel where I work recently. We had about 60 blind people staying in the hotel for 3 days. Oh man was it a lot of work!! I had a great time getting to know some of them.
It made me realize the little things that I take for granted because I can see. Crazy things like eating, taking the elevator, using the ATM, finding the bathroom etc. Its so hard to believe that small tasks like that become so difficult for blind people especially when they are in unfamiliar places. I would guide trains of people down the halls to the bathrooms, to their rooms and then give a rundown of where everything was.
I cannot imagine going to a strange hotel and new place and being able to find my way around. These people were so positive and seemed so happy and content. They would sit around and chat with us and crack jokes. At some points I would forget they were even blind.
When I think about conversations I had with some of them and I realize how positive they are I get mad at myself, because maybe that day I was cranky for some reason and didn't want to go to work, but what do I have to complain about? Nothing! I can see, I'm in pretty good health

"I think we are blind. Blind people who can see, but do not see."

I think we should all pretend we are blind and stop caring about looks and all of that stuff.

Hate is a strong word and the thing is, why do we grow to hate people? Because they hurt us? I know this is kind of going off of the blind subject but really? There are a couple people in my life who ya, I think I could really hate, but why? It doesn't help me to become a better person at all. So to those of you who are holding grudges, just look in the mirror and be happy you can see and are alive!! Stop worrying about the past people that hurt you, karma is a you know what and what goes around comes around.

“Gain a modest reputation for being unreliable and you will never be asked to do a thing.”

2008-09-25T09:17:00.000-04:00

I have come in contact with quite a few flaky people in my life. And here is my thing....don't commit if you're not going to go through with things. I really could care less in the end. I do care when I'm the one waiting around for something to happen. These flaky people in my life I want to have in my life as people, but it is so hard for me to understand their logic..... they act like they want to be there and hang out and then they pretty much just "dissapear" REALLY PEOPLE? It is time to grow up and start thinking about other people other than yourselves. Start treating your friends with a little respect and be straight forward and honest.

Lines from Jack Johnson's song "Flake"
"I know she said it's alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying"

"It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go"

The first quote is totally me.... I'm really bad about acting like it is okay that the person screwed me over or didn't show up. Because I am a SUCKER or can be.

Definition of unreliable: Not reliable; untrustworthy.
Craziness how untrustworthy is part of that definition, to think that some of the people you know that are unreliable you cannot trust.

Imagine that!! If people are unreliable in your life what happens if you really need them, are you going to be able to trust them to be there? Probably not, so maybe I should eliminate the unreliable, flaky people in my life. Do I really need to continue to think something is going to happen when its not? Is it worth my breath and time?

I THINK NOT!!

I want to be there for people, but I also want that in return. Don't we all think that is fair?

TIP OF THE DAY ON HOW TO DEAL WITH FLAKY PEOPLE
Stop initiating and see if they picks up the slack. Sometimes they won’t and sometimes they will. If they don't, it’s good you found out sooner and not later. No one needs a friend who will never call or go through with plans. Hope for the best though. Always assume the best without panic. Maybe they are just busy and dealing with her own demanding issues. Once they get in touch, you will have lots of new stimulating things to talk about.

My nieces and nephews! :)

2008-08-28T11:58:00.000-04:00

Kids! Aren't they great?? I have been blessed to have a total of 10 nieces and nephews now! 5 boys and 5 girls!! I have seen them all grow and change. I am so happy to be close to all of them and to know that they know who I am! Its crazy to think that when I was 11 years old I was an aunt already. Who would have thought that when I was 22 that I would have 10! There are so many different personalities with all of them. You have your princesses and then your boys who love to play in the dirt and the boys who are not as daring!

I have seen all different types of techniques with discipline and that kind of stuff so I have learned a lot and hopefully will be taking some of that with me when I start a family of my own.

I have witnessed the miracles of hospitals, watching my nephew be born at a tiny 1lb 14 oz. three months early. Seeing him in the incubator looking so small and helpless, but having hope because of how I was raised, that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Watching him grow now to 2 years old its crazy to think that he was ever that small.

I love having pictures up of all of the kids and I love the diversity of our family, they are all beautiful children. I always have pictures up in my office and love to get questions about them. I am a very proud aunt and hope to one day be a proud mom! Hopefully my brothers and sisters will be as close with my children. Family is the most important thing in the end.

Thoughts for today In a Nutshell

2008-08-25T07:39:00.000-04:00

I realize some things about myself that may not always be good things. I have a tendency to not worry about myself and always care about others. Which isn't always a good thing because it can get you hurt pretty quickly if you do not keep some sort of wall up. I have always told myself that I hate it when people are mad at me or there is tension. Most people I know find me very outgoing and some may think I really don't care about others opinions. Well I wish that was the case. We all have insecurities some more than others and some different than others. Hey that's life! If we weren't human we would not have these issues.

I think I need to change the way I think about things before they happen. I need to start caring for my friends and being there to support them how I can, but there is only so much you can do for people before it starts affecting you. People are going to make their own decisions, all I need to start doing is just stand back and let them do what they want to do because sometimes getting involved is not always the best thing to do. Its so hard because all I want to do is help, but I know some people just want to do what they want and if they want to change they are going to do it in their own time.

I can say this from my own personal experience, I was in a place before where I knew that things needed to change but it took time for me to finally make the decision to change this is why I feel I can write about this kind of stuff. I made decisions and pushed people away for a very long time, I now look back and realize that I was very wrong to do this. its crazy how I can see this in other people that I know.

Well I know that most of my blogs are serious but I guess this is how I get things off of my chest so I'm sorry to those of you who think I'm crazy but I like to get my thoughts out.

As Forrest Gump says "Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you're gonna get". And that is so true, but just take a bite if you don't like it move on to the next, but at least give the piece a chance because if you don't you may regret it.

Beach Trips!!

2008-08-20T10:53:00.000-04:00

So I've had probably some of the best beach trips ever with some of the best people!! The midnight swimming, laying out, playing volleyball, jetskiing and just hanging out was awesome! As everyone knows I am in love with the beach, I am like a fish!! If I could live at the beach I would love to! When I go to the beach I feel so worry free and relaxed, why can't everyday be like that?

Now I have learned a few lessons about beach trips.......
Lesson #1: The larger the group, the bigger the hassle when it comes to making decisions
Lesson #2: Whoever says you can't fit 10 people in one hotel room is lying!
Lesson #3: Applying sunblock right before you go into water has no purpose!
Lesson #4: Playing volleyball with a drunk old man and realizing that maybe you could use more practice because he is better that is an issue.
Lesson #5: Hold on to your bathing suit when getting taken out by a wave.
Lesson #6: Whoever says people with a broken finger cannot swim & play volleyball are also liars!

All in all the beach trips have been great this summer! I am pretty sad that they are coming to an end!! Great memories and friendships have been made at the beach... I hope that they continue! I have been a beach bum my whole life, I am blessed to have been able to go to the beach pretty much every summer my whole life!! I love that I live 2 hours away (or less if you drive like me) and don't think I'll ever live too far from the beach again!!

"Take time to stop and smell the roses"

2008-08-19T08:11:00.000-04:00

I've realized that dwelling on the negative things in life really gets you nowhere. I love the saying "take time to stop and smell the roses". Don't dwell on drama or negative things, look at the positives in your life because I'm sure when you do there are tons more positive things than negative things. People come in go in our lives, some leave great impressions and some on the other hand do not. Some tear you down to where you think that you are going to hate them forever and not be able to forgive them but then you realize Why?? why dwell on it? I've tried to become the better person and move on and forgive people which in my life there have been a lot of people that maybe I never thought I would forgive, forget and move on. Be grateful for the true friends and family that you know are always there to support you.

You never know what could happen tomorrow so be happy for today!

--Laugh about your shortcomings. You don't need to take yourself so seriously. If you are developing your self-esteem, then you can be amused by your own nature.

--Hold yourself accountable for your choices. Don't give away your power.

--Realize that you possess nothing: Lovers, children, a house, furniture, or a car. When you make peace with this thought, you release yourself from bondage. You can never lose what you do not possess. Everything is a loan.

--Take risks. Don't lose your swagger.

The past 8 Months in a Flash

2008-08-18T11:39:00.000-04:00

So here I am blogging.... didn't think I would ever do this but I figure its good to put things in writing.

I must the the past eight months have gone by so fast!! Moving to North Carolina was probably one of the only great decisions in my life that I have made. I thought that I was happy with my life before I moved here and leaving there was so hard to do. But now I realize this is where I am supposed to be. My family has always supported me in everything I have done and I love them for that. I know there are plenty of families that aren't as open. I am so blessed to have the family that I do. I look at my past and think "gosh what an idiot I was!! Why would my parents and family put up with that?" Well obviously it is unconditional love which I hope that when I have a family of my own I will be able to have that also.

Its crazy how one decision can change so much in your life! I have met some of the greatest people and them some not so great people, but hey thats life! I feel that I have a great group of people around me that are supporting me and helping me become a better person. Most of you know who you are so I don't need to name names. I love being able to open up to people and not be judged for past decisions. I have moved on and am still working at doing what is right and I truly appreciate the emmense amount of support that I have received. I hope that my close friends know that I am always there for them to listen and not judge at all.

So the moral of me moving here showed me that money is not what makes you happy in life that is only a temporary happiness!!

Having great family and friends surrounding you is what is going to make you happy in the end. Just knowing that I can always turn to someone is what helps me get through some of the kinks I am working out!