Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"Why do we want what we can't have?"

Question of the day, this blog was a request by a friend for some reason she feels I give good advice. So lets see what I have to say about this question.

I think all in all it is just being a human. It starts from when we are children, when you're a toddler you don't want to play with a certain toy until another child has it.

Its that little bit of jealousy that lies in all of us! Everyone can say that they're not one to be jealous but we all are in our own way. Its not necessarily that the child wants the toy, but he definitely doesn't want anyone else to have it.

Then we get older and still we cannot be satisfied with life. We all go through times where we have a crush on somebody that already has somebody and we think to ourselves "oh if only he/she were with me".... but really are we sure we aren't just jealous? They aren't necessarily for us, but in the end we are jealous of what someone else has that we don't.

But then when we get what we "think" we wanted are we happy? Not all the time, no we aren't! Why because a lot of times I think people tend to "settle" for whatever they can get or think they want, but really it is not what is right for them. We cannot settle for anything, everyone deserves someone great as a companion, but we can't just assume that every person that comes into our lives is "the one". Thats not the way life always works. The majority of people go through relationships that just don't work out, but we need to be able to stand on our own two feet before we completely settle down. You cannot just be with someone well because everyone else has someone. We cannot be jealous of others relationships, we need to be happy, if they're happy that is great for them.

Anyway, i think it goes deeper than that. For the most part, (not everyone) we as people were not meant to be alone. So when we are observed singlely, the observer does not get to see us at our highest. When we are in a relationship the observer gets to see the most complete person we can be. Therfore, we are more attractive to them.
I.e. i want a man that does ______. I like ________ because i see that he does ________ for his woman, and i want him to do that for me.

"As a rule, man's a fool. When it's hot he wants it cool.
When it's cool he wants it hot, always wanting what is not."

Below is a great way to think about things and ask yourself:

"You have the ability to get what you want. You probably have everything you need to be completely satisfied. Do you also have the ability to want what you've got? Do you have peace of mind?"

That is a strong thing to think about. We need to be happy with what we have, we are alive right? We all have a roof over our heads and food on the table right? Of course we all want to be blissfully happy, but going to religious terms, we were sent here to endure trials, without them we wouldn't be successful in life. Everybody has problems in their lives, but there is nothing that is put in front of us that we cannot overcome. Sometimes that is very hard to believe, but I believe it is true.

And one of the things we have to overcome is waiting on that "special someone". Sure we think we know who is right for us, but we are not always right about it. So be patient, as Bob Marley says "Live the life you love, love the life you live" So learn how to be content with what you've got for the moment because when we look back on these things we think are big deals they will be nothing really. Embrace the gifts God gave us which first and foremost is life!


Ader Family said...

Love it. You're amazing and I hope you are living the advice you are giving.

Kyle said...

So...you sent me a text message that I never responded to. I was in class when you sent it so I didn't reply and plumb forgot afterward. My bad. We'll talk real soon.

As for the advice, thank you. I needed that too. I think the "if it's meant to be it will be" sentiment is hogwash. You've gotta make it happen, and that involves work. Sometimes I lose sight of that. As long as there's good food in my belly, I should be okay for the time being.