Wednesday, August 5, 2009

It took an off day but finally I am blogging again!

So it has been a few months since I have blogged and let me tell you that today was just one of those days. Have you ever had those? Where it just starts off wrong like you slip in the shower and its then when I know it is all downhill from there! As most of you know I am not at all a morning person and for some reason I don't think I ever will be. So most of my mornings are done in a very cranky mood and half asleep. And then the drive to work, its like every car is out to make my day more annoying! I mean is it truly neccessary to drive under the speed limit?? I think not! Then I get to work and get a whole 5 seconds of peace and the load is dumped on me of stuff to do. And really its just a snowball effect, I go out to each lunch and get stuck in traffic for 40 minutes!

And then I can't even hold a conversation without getting somewhat pissy.

So here is my question, why is it that if one thing goes wrong in the morning it seems everything else just falls apart?

Really I think it is just all in my head...... maybe if I had a more positive attitude instead of "why me?" and "f my life!"

Once again I know my life isn't that bad and we all have off days.... it would be great if life were just easy. I read a good quote today and it is very true it says
"Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck it up and be nice."

I know its easier said than done to just suck it up and get over it. I mean in the end if I just try to be positive than my day may get better.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Joys & Woes of Surgery!

So here just 1 week after surgery.... for the most part it went well. I had a rough time after surgery after the hospital with the moriphine and then let me just tell you the day after I had never felt worse pain in my life!!! I had a great spiritual experience that really helped me overcome this.

Laying in bed for 1 week can get really, really old!! I have watched approximately 1440 minutes of One Tree Hill! Yup that is 24 Hours!! Thank goodness for Seasons on DVD! So all in all I had tons of time to lay around and do nothing which is very rare in my life!! I took a week off work and really didn't have too much contact.

I love my friends and I miss them!! I am thankful for the caring people that visited me and brought me food and cute gifts! Its the little things in life that make me happy! As much as surgery sucks and being on crutches sucks, I think I'm in pretty good spirits.

My family has been so great at taking care of me, it hasn't been easy for them I'm sure but I truly appreciate it and I am so glad we are close.

There has been a lot of time for me to think while I've been away and again its made me realize that the stupid drama in life is not even worth it. Everything blows over, what we think is the biggest problem today, probably won't be the biggest problem tomorrow. It is pretty much impossible for everyone to get along with everyone, there are way too many personalities and insecurities. And I hear people complaining about cliques, but really lets be honest, everyone has a clique. You are always going to have a few closer friends that you are always with. I don't think it is at all snobby or mean, I just think that, that is how life is. I admit, I have a clique, but I do not hate anyone else or think that I can't be their friend. I love my group of friends, they are truly my support and some days I do not know where I would be without them. And I think that everyone feels the same way about their clique. I sometimes wish we could all be one big clique but that really is not possible at all, because everyone can't get along with everyone.

For some reason this has been on my mind quite a bit this week, probably because when you're not really around it and you hear about it all you realize the divisions in friends. There is always going to be people that say or do things to you that are really horrible, but they're people too and everyone makes mistakes. I'm not saying lets go be best friends with them, I'm not even saying talk to them but just don't stress over it.

As Bob Marley says "Love the life you love, Love the life you live!"

Be happy with who you are no matter what!! My motto is "You Only Live Once!!" So live it up and try your best to be as happy as possible!

Another good quote by Bob Marley

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I am not perfect - I don't live to be, but before you start pointing your fingers...make sure your hands are clean."

A saying I heard this week and hadn't heard in forever "He who hath no sin casts the first stone"

There is no one on this earth that is perfect so don't stress over the little things or other people live life for you!

Monday, March 30, 2009

The best birthday!!!

So this past weekend was my 23rd Birthday and boy was it a great one!! I love my friends for really making it special for me!! I have a great support system finally and love it!! Thursday night was dinner with just a few of us and then Saturday was the big party where we danced like fools and had a blast!!! I am truly happy with where my life is going! Thanks to everyone for making it special!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Words for Thought :)

So last night we were coming up with words to describe one another. Well me, I think I am an odd person for the most part. Some of the words that came up were quirky, which then led to other words like freakish, kinky (ha, uh no!), peculiar and idiosyncratic. I don't know about any of those words really.

We stuck with idiosyncratic and the definition is: peculiar temper or disposition; belonging to one's peculiar and individual character.

And well I've always thought I was peculiar but in a good way :) I like being different than people and just not caring, I want to always be myself in front of others but we all know that can be hard. However, in the comfort of my own home and around others like myself it tends to be pretty easy. I was also told it is going to take a special guy for me to be able to handle my personality, which tends to be a little odd at times and I am a fairly independent person.

Its weird when you think about words to describe yourself and then hear what others think. Now through the grapevine I've heard that people call me "unapproachable". What??!! That is crazy to me! I've always thought that I am very easy to talk to and I love getting to know new people. I try my best to get along with everyone, but lets face it, this world is not perfect and neither are people.

1. not capable of being approached; remote; unreachable: an unapproachable spot; an unapproachable person.
2. impossible to equal or rival: unapproachable mastery of her art.

So I would then say that people thinking I am "unapproachable" leads to me being "misunderstood".

1. improperly understood or interpreted
2. To take in a wrong sense
3. To fail to understand or interpret rightly the words or behavior of

So I've come to terms that I am "misunderstood" in some ways. I have a lot of history in my life that a lot of people don't know about. I don't open up to too many people because of trust issues. But I still want to get to know everybody, I think that there is some part of me that can get along with everyone at some point. We may not ever be real friends and hang out, but I try my hardest not to judge or pretend to know about someone.

I see that we are all guilty at some point of pre-judging before we know anything about anyone. But lets look at what it can do to people when they hear that people think things about them that may not be true. If you don't know then don't judge or talk bad about them. Did you ever think that if someone to you is "unapproachable" then maybe its you not wanting to branch out and get to know them?? Everyone is a good person, but some people just show it differently.

And lastly, we will always have friends who have other friends or significant others that we are not close with. But if we truly care for our friend, we will not judge, but support, there is a good word support

1. to bear or hold up (a load, mass, structure, part, etc.); serve as a foundation for.
2. to sustain or withstand (weight, pressure, strain, etc.) without giving way; serve as a prop for.
3. to undergo or endure, esp. with patience or submission; tolerate.
4. to sustain (a person, the mind, spirits, courage, etc.) under trial or affliction: They supported him throughout his ordeal.
5. to maintain (a person, family, establishment, institution, etc.) by supplying with things necessary to existence; provide for: to support a family

To me if I am a true friend, I always support, defend and care for my friends. Everyone can make their own decisions in life and we cannot control our friends, but if they're happy then we are. If they are down we need to be there to bring them up. Now I am not perfect and sometimes fail at these things. But I see others that get upset or bothered when others become friends or more, but to me that is a sign of low self-esteem which we all have some of. We cannot bring others down for no reason.

Does it really make you feel better when you tell someone you disapprove of their friend or friends? There is really no need to even be discussing others relationships, why? Oh, maybe because it is none of your business!! If you have nothing to do with it, then stay out of it. Since there is no one perfect on the earth then we should not judge or worry about other people's relationships. Doing this with what you say is a "real friend" can really push people away.

That is all for today I think!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Some great quotes from one of the greatest men!

I love reading quotes from Gordon B. Hinckley and thought that I would share some of my favorite!

He was such a great prophet and leader!

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.”

“The Lord would want you to be successful. He would. You are His sons and His daughters. He has the same kind of love and ambition for you that your earthly parents have. They want you to do well and you can do it.”

“Our lives are the only meaningful expression of what we believe and in Whom we believe. And the only real wealth, for any of us, lies in our faith.”

“I am totally in the hands of the Lord.”

“Believe in Jesus Christ, our Savior and our Redeemer, the Son of God, who came to earth and walked the dusty roads of Palestine-the Son of God-to teach us the way of truth and light and salvation, and who, in one great and glorious act offered an atonement for each of us. He opened the way of salvation and exaltation for each of us, under which we may go forward in the Church and kingdom of God. Be not faithless, but believe in the great and wonderful and marvelous blessings of the Atonement.”

“This is my prayer for all of us—'Lord, increase our faith.' Increase our faith to bridge the chasms of uncertainty and doubt. . . . Grant us faith to look beyond the problems of the moment to the miracles of the future. . . . Give us faith to do what is right and let the consequence follow.”
"Whatever our calling, regardless of our fears or anxieties, let us pray and then go and do."

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Washington D.C. with the girls!

So I went away last weekend with just the girls, it was nice! The only boy contact we had was flirting with the cops haha! Or the man in the wheelchair that sang to us, but other than that this was a no boy weekend! I had a blast seeing all the sites again, that I only saw when I was 10 so I didn't remember much!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"Why do we want what we can't have?"

Question of the day, this blog was a request by a friend for some reason she feels I give good advice. So lets see what I have to say about this question.

I think all in all it is just being a human. It starts from when we are children, when you're a toddler you don't want to play with a certain toy until another child has it.

Its that little bit of jealousy that lies in all of us! Everyone can say that they're not one to be jealous but we all are in our own way. Its not necessarily that the child wants the toy, but he definitely doesn't want anyone else to have it.

Then we get older and still we cannot be satisfied with life. We all go through times where we have a crush on somebody that already has somebody and we think to ourselves "oh if only he/she were with me".... but really are we sure we aren't just jealous? They aren't necessarily for us, but in the end we are jealous of what someone else has that we don't.

But then when we get what we "think" we wanted are we happy? Not all the time, no we aren't! Why because a lot of times I think people tend to "settle" for whatever they can get or think they want, but really it is not what is right for them. We cannot settle for anything, everyone deserves someone great as a companion, but we can't just assume that every person that comes into our lives is "the one". Thats not the way life always works. The majority of people go through relationships that just don't work out, but we need to be able to stand on our own two feet before we completely settle down. You cannot just be with someone well because everyone else has someone. We cannot be jealous of others relationships, we need to be happy, if they're happy that is great for them.

Anyway, i think it goes deeper than that. For the most part, (not everyone) we as people were not meant to be alone. So when we are observed singlely, the observer does not get to see us at our highest. When we are in a relationship the observer gets to see the most complete person we can be. Therfore, we are more attractive to them.
I.e. i want a man that does ______. I like ________ because i see that he does ________ for his woman, and i want him to do that for me.

"As a rule, man's a fool. When it's hot he wants it cool.
When it's cool he wants it hot, always wanting what is not."

Below is a great way to think about things and ask yourself:

"You have the ability to get what you want. You probably have everything you need to be completely satisfied. Do you also have the ability to want what you've got? Do you have peace of mind?"

That is a strong thing to think about. We need to be happy with what we have, we are alive right? We all have a roof over our heads and food on the table right? Of course we all want to be blissfully happy, but going to religious terms, we were sent here to endure trials, without them we wouldn't be successful in life. Everybody has problems in their lives, but there is nothing that is put in front of us that we cannot overcome. Sometimes that is very hard to believe, but I believe it is true.

And one of the things we have to overcome is waiting on that "special someone". Sure we think we know who is right for us, but we are not always right about it. So be patient, as Bob Marley says "Live the life you love, love the life you live" So learn how to be content with what you've got for the moment because when we look back on these things we think are big deals they will be nothing really. Embrace the gifts God gave us which first and foremost is life!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

22 Feeling 90!

So here I am 22 years old and I feel that with all the health issues I've had I should be like 90 years old. It is a running joke that when I meet a guy that I like I shouldn't declare my medical history or that will ruin it!

Well its kind of true, it all began in kindergarten I had pneumonia 5 times, I've always had a very crappy immune system from that point on. If someone has a little cold I get bronchitis or worse! I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 12 and now will take a pill for the rest of my life that without I feel like crap.

I was in a car accident at 18 that damaged my back probably in some places for the rest of my life and I was put to sleep and had needles stabbed into my back approximately 6 different times after the accident.

Then I turn 20 and begin to have stomach problems and well before I was 21 I had my gall bladder removed! (not common at that age) of course, because if my body were to do anything normal I wouldn't be me!

And now... here I am 22 and having serious sleep problems and now am going for a sleep study to figure out why I don't sleep properly...

oh wait there is more.... I am 22 and have a pretty bad foot problem that causes me extreme pain that normally happens to older people so I'll be seeing a specialist tomorrow for that and possibly will be having surgery again!

Its like the never ending list of problems, just when my health seems okay something happens! Will it ever end? And the bills become outrageous, but I realize its better to take care of things now rather than later when they're worse!

Anyways... I hope none of my future love interests read this, because well that would go out the window!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Why do we care?

Please note this is not directed at anyone specific

Why do we care what others think? When it comes down to it, we all say we do not care what others think but lets face it! There is a part in everyone that cares somewhat what people think. I don't think lives should be lived this way and I wish there was a way to change that. I feel like a lot of us live our lives trying to be what others want us to be or trying to be the girl a certain guy wants you to be or a guy a girl wants us to be. Be honest, unless someone is going to like you for you they're not worth it right? Well here we go again as humans thinking that there are ways to change others, but unfortunately there are not.

You know that saying.... "There is someone out there for everyone" Well for the most part I believe that, but then again when I think I'm where i'm supposed to be but then realize i'm not getting anywhere in progressing with some things it just doesn't make sense, but such is life, nothing makes sense! And right now for some reason there are a lot of things not making sense.

Like for example.... Girls, what are we all so catty?! Another saying... "Can't we all just get along?" I have realized is almost impossible for girls. and just like caring what others think, there is a little bit or a lot of cattiness in some cases in every girl. It doesn't matter what age we are there will always be comparing of other females. And wondering why a guy chose this girl or why this girl did that to you. Again, these things we will never figure out. So maybe we should (or at least I should) try and be the bigger person and say you know what? Oh well if I kissed this guy and now she is, should we care? If it was meant to be it would have been right? Or if he's moved on like that obviously he's not what I'm looking for. (not really a situation I'm currently in, but just an example). Such is life, you will always have an ex and that ex will always have someone new. It sucks and it hurts, but you have to move on and not hold on to certain things, because when the right one does come along those things can ruin a good thing! We cannot hate others because of things that have happened/or not happened to us.

I realize that in a lot of my relationships I become "the good friend" with most guys..... now I know that can be a good thing and sometimes a compliment that I am easy going, easy to get along with but you know? being "the friend" can get REALLY old. But do you see me complaining all the time? Ya sometimes I do, but I really try not to it is one of those things.... there is no point.

Well once again... just random babble I don't know why it is so easy to type my thoughts out but when people ask me to talk about them I cannot. Oh well blogging definitely helps!

Once again, this blog is not directed at anyone specifically

Monday, January 19, 2009

Random babble for today, slightly confused and stressed I guess.

Boys, boys, boys!! Will we ever completely understand them and what goes through their minds? Probably not! Just when you think you've got one figured out, they throw a curve ball at you! It seems like guys get scared everything a girl gets close to them like we are just going to want to jump on them and be their one and only and get serious!! Well I am not in anyway like that, just because you're getting to know a guy doesn't mean anything serious in my book. How do you make someone realize that you are really telling the truth when you say you are not ready/nor looking for something serious?

"Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years"

I have the greatest friends in the world! And well if it were just us for the rest of our lives I may be happy!! But not really, every girl wants to one day be married and have a family, but it doesn't mean I neccesarily want it anytime soon. I want to be young, single and have fun. Of course I want to date guys and have a good time and well if the right one happens to come along I guess I'll go with it, but for now I'm all about just living.

Just like the random road trip me and 2 of my best friends took a couple weeks ago, I love that we are all spontaneous and just like to have a good time. Did it make any real sense to go on this road trip? Nope, not really!! But it was a blast and totally worth it!! One second we're just sitting at home the next thing you know we're all packed into the car driving across the country, why? Because we can!!! I have nothing holding me back right now so I need to live it up, because there will come a day that I will have a family and won't be able to just drop everything and do crazy things like that.

I go back and forth on things, its like one day I think oh it would be so nice to have a boyfriend, but then sometimes I see the drama that goes on with others and am like H no! I like to try and live a stress free life, but we all know that is not possible at all. (I really wish it was) If anyone knows of a way not to stress about the little things in life can you please let me know? I really want to be a happy person at all times but that is another thing in life that isn't always possible.

And sometimes, really I just want to be close to someone and cuddle and feel totally comfortable. I want someone who can hang out with me and all of my friends and put up with our stupid craziness!! Because we all know that I refuse to give up my friends for any relationship.

I want my close friends to be happy in their lives and I hate seeing them getting hurt when it comes to relationships and other things in their lives. I've learned to give my opinions and advice but let them make their own decisions. No matter what they'll be my friends. I really hope to receive the same thing from them and I am pretty sure that they will do that for me also. Even when whatever is going on in my life
might sound like the stupidest things, well they don't judge and of course I will not judge them.