Kids! Aren't they great?? I have been blessed to have a total of 10 nieces and nephews now! 5 boys and 5 girls!! I have seen them all grow and change. I am so happy to be close to all of them and to know that they know who I am! Its crazy to think that when I was 11 years old I was an aunt already. Who would have thought that when I was 22 that I would have 10! There are so many different personalities with all of them. You have your princesses and then your boys who love to play in the dirt and the boys who are not as daring! I have seen all different types of techniques with discipline and that kind of stuff so I have learned a lot and hopefully will be taking some of that with me when I start a family of my own.
I have witnessed the miracles of hospitals, watching my nephew be born at a tiny 1lb 14 oz. three months early. Seeing him in the incubator looking so small and helpless, but having hope because of how I was raised, that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Watching him grow now to 2 years old its crazy to think that he was ever that small.
I love having pictures up of all of the kids and I love the diversity of our family, they are all beautiful children. I always have pictures up in my office and love to get questions about them. I am a very proud aunt and hope to one day be a proud mom! Hopefully my brothers and sisters will be as close with my children. Family is the most important thing in the end.
I realize some things about myself that may not always be good things. I have a tendency to not worry about myself and always care about others. Which isn't always a good thing because it can get you hurt pretty quickly if you do not keep some sort of wall up. I have always told myself that I hate it when people are mad at me or there is tension. Most people I know find me very outgoing and some may think I really don't care about others opinions. Well I wish that was the case. We all have insecurities some more than others and some different than others. Hey that's life! If we weren't human we would not have these issues.
I think I need to change the way I think about things before they happen. I need to start caring for my friends and being there to support them how I can, but there is only so much you can do for people before it starts affecting you. People are going to make their own decisions, all I need to start doing is just stand back and let them do what they want to do because sometimes getting involved is not always the best thing to do. Its so hard because all I want to do is help, but I know some people just want to do what they want and if they want to change they are going to do it in their own time.
I can say this from my own personal experience, I was in a place before where I knew that things needed to change but it took time for me to finally make the decision to change this is why I feel I can write about this kind of stuff. I made decisions and pushed people away for a very long time, I now look back and realize that I was very wrong to do this. its crazy how I can see this in other people that I know.
Well I know that most of my blogs are serious but I guess this is how I get things off of my chest so I'm sorry to those of you who think I'm crazy but I like to get my thoughts out. As Forrest Gump says "Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you're gonna get". And that is so true, but just take a bite if you don't like it move on to the next, but at least give the piece a chance because if you don't you may regret it.
So I've had probably some of the best beach trips ever with some of the best people!! The midnight swimming, laying out, playing volleyball, jetskiing and just hanging out was awesome! As everyone knows I am in love with the beach, I am like a fish!! If I could live at the beach I would love to! When I go to the beach I feel so worry free and relaxed, why can't everyday be like that? Now I have learned a few lessons about beach trips....... Lesson #1: The larger the group, the bigger the hassle when it comes to making decisions Lesson #2: Whoever says you can't fit 10 people in one hotel room is lying! Lesson #3: Applying sunblock right before you go into water has no purpose! Lesson #4: Playing volleyball with a drunk old man and realizing that maybe you could use more practice because he is better that is an issue. Lesson #5: Hold on to your bathing suit when getting taken out by a wave. Lesson #6: Whoever says people with a broken finger cannot swim & play volleyball are also liars!
All in all the beach trips have been great this summer! I am pretty sad that they are coming to an end!! Great memories and friendships have been made at the beach... I hope that they continue! I have been a beach bum my whole life, I am blessed to have been able to go to the beach pretty much every summer my whole life!! I love that I live 2 hours away (or less if you drive like me) and don't think I'll ever live too far from the beach again!!
I've realized that dwelling on the negative things in life really gets you nowhere. I love the saying "take time to stop and smell the roses". Don't dwell on drama or negative things, look at the positives in your life because I'm sure when you do there are tons more positive things than negative things. People come in go in our lives, some leave great impressions and some on the other hand do not. Some tear you down to where you think that you are going to hate them forever and not be able to forgive them but then you realize Why?? why dwell on it? I've tried to become the better person and move on and forgive people which in my life there have been a lot of people that maybe I never thought I would forgive, forget and move on. Be grateful for the true friends and family that you know are always there to support you.
You never know what could happen tomorrow so be happy for today!
--Laugh about your shortcomings. You don't need to take yourself so seriously. If you are developing your self-esteem, then you can be amused by your own nature.
--Hold yourself accountable for your choices. Don't give away your power.
--Realize that you possess nothing: Lovers, children, a house, furniture, or a car. When you make peace with this thought, you release yourself from bondage. You can never lose what you do not possess. Everything is a loan.
So here I am blogging.... didn't think I would ever do this but I figure its good to put things in writing.
I must the the past eight months have gone by so fast!! Moving to North Carolina was probably one of the only great decisions in my life that I have made. I thought that I was happy with my life before I moved here and leaving there was so hard to do. But now I realize this is where I am supposed to be. My family has always supported me in everything I have done and I love them for that. I know there are plenty of families that aren't as open. I am so blessed to have the family that I do. I look at my past and think "gosh what an idiot I was!! Why would my parents and family put up with that?" Well obviously it is unconditional love which I hope that when I have a family of my own I will be able to have that also.
Its crazy how one decision can change so much in your life! I have met some of the greatest people and them some not so great people, but hey thats life! I feel that I have a great group of people around me that are supporting me and helping me become a better person. Most of you know who you are so I don't need to name names. I love being able to open up to people and not be judged for past decisions. I have moved on and am still working at doing what is right and I truly appreciate the emmense amount of support that I have received. I hope that my close friends know that I am always there for them to listen and not judge at all.
So the moral of me moving here showed me that money is not what makes you happy in life that is only a temporary happiness!!
Having great family and friends surrounding you is what is going to make you happy in the end. Just knowing that I can always turn to someone is what helps me get through some of the kinks I am working out!